An Inspirational Story

Every once and awhile a story comes along that touches your heart and makes you think. The boy below was Ben Breedlove. Notice the past tense. Ben died on Christmas day from a long time heart condition. Just days before he died, he made two videos chronicling the times he cheated death. Ben was 18 and in his senior year of high school. He had his whole life ahead of him. Instead, he perished on what is supposed to be a day of celebration and love. It really makes you think about life and death and the events that lead up to the moment where your heart no longer beats for you and you pass on. Death is one of the most accepting things on this earth. It cares not for age, beauty, gender, race, religion or love. It will take you in any way it chooses and sometimes, it can be unfair. I could confidently say I am not afraid of death. I am more afraid of what I'll miss when I am gone. So for now, I live my life and hope I get the chance to see it through. Not everyone is so lucky. Ben was not lucky. But what he did with the life he had was enough for him. He is proud of what he has accomplished. And even though he wasn't able to play sports with his friends, he made it work. He was not afraid of death. And in making these videos, he gave his parents of semblance of peace in knowing that he was not afraid. Note the smile and the slight chuckles at some of what he says. He knew of the fate that would eventually come to collect. And he accepted. Watch these videos, laugh, cry or think. And the next time something doesn't go your way, think of Ben and he turned a diagnosis that wasn't in his favor into something great.

Fun Facts and Stupid Things

Fun fact of the day:
              "The average American spends 14 days in the bathroom"
Who knew. I mean some people can read entire books on the toilet, and I guess that includes baths, showers, getting ready etc. Just thought you all should know.

Stupid thing of the day:
              "I was driving to work the other day, and I was behind a brake happy mid sized car. The back was filled up with so much stuff that they couldn't see out the back. The entire 15 minutes I was behind this person, they were washing their back window. Really? This isn't going to help you see out the back through your crap. So dumb."

And nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, Things that Perplex Me Part Two:

11. Hot Air Balloons
                 First of all, who thought to use a balloon to fly a little tiny basket up into the air. And how do they stay afloat and not crash to the ground killing the three people that can actually fit into the basket. So weird

12. Acting
                 Who was the first person who decided to be another person for an hour or two for entertainment

13. Chips
                 Hmmmmmmm, maybe I should fry these potatoes to make them crispy and then season them

14. Fingerprints
                 It is truly fascinating that we all have different fingerprints. And that people can tell who are through them

15. Toes
                 How can such a huge body rely on such little appendages to stay upright. I guess I missed something when training them because I fall a lot

16. Eyeballs
                 So much to see out of such a little hole

17. Cremating people
                 Think of how many people are in the air right now? Gross but maybe true............

18. Shaving legs
                 Who thought that the hair on a woman's leg was so repulsive we should shave it off. I mean, its tedious. Hair is natural. And why don't men have to shave their legs?

19. Cotton candy
                 Puffy sugar...nough said

Thats all I have for now! A hodge podge of stupidness....

Pictures

Why is photo booth so fun. I hope this picture is coming to you in great spirits. I sure had fun taking a series of pictures, when I was alone. I tend to get bored and do stupid stuff when I get left alone. So lesson to the wise, don't leave me alone. At least don;t leave me alone without nothing to do. Now pictures, capturing a moment in time and freezing it to forever live in the world on paper or in a camera. Pictures can tell a million stories. For example. This picture at first glance would to me imply that I'm dumb and decided to take extremely unattractive pictures of myself with my computer. In actuality, I just got done taking my final and really just wanted to do something with a computer that didn't involve hitting submit quiz. I like how it distorts my face and makes my teeth into beaver wood chompers. My original purpose for this photo was to put on my sisters facebook wall to make her happy. Good thing she isn't on the book anymore because I feel that I would have regretted sharing this picture with such and audience. So of course, instead, I am sharing it with this audience base!

This picture could have more than a million stories to it. My sister, cousin and I could have been preparing for a tribal war dance around the fire. We could have just been being us and painting our faces with ridiculous patterns just for giggles. Sara looks like a deranged Rudolph with a Captain Hook mustache. Alison looks like and Angry War Bird, which is funny since the game did not exist at this point in time. We may have on to something with that... I look like the paint threw up on me and then tried to save itself with the cross on my head. In reality, we were about to perform a caper. We have a tire and it needed to be exposed of. We went to drop the tire off and it fell out of the car, rolled down the hill and landed perfectly where a tire would be. It couldn't have gone any better. And the Sara supermaned herself into the car and yelled drive. It was pure gold. Us being badasses. Usually doesn't turn out well. And us, the deranged criminals that we were are now respectable members of the community. Alison is now married with a baby and a job, Sara has a career, and I, being the best, am a damn good nanny and student.

Now of course, these pictures are polar opposites and I actually have no idea where I was going with this blog, but then again do I ever. So I leave you with this, a picture, you can decide the story. Caption contest! Winner gets a shout out in the next blog! I know, you are all just clamoring to be mentioned next....

Perplexing Things

Now I don't know about everyone else, but I have a lot of lists. My bucket list, to do list for the day, week, month, year etc, my time travel bang list, my "if I had a million dollars" list and the list that I personally think is the most interesting, my list of things that perplex or fascinate me. So I will share a few of the things on that list now. This is coming up because I realized today that I really like making lists. So here we go! Top 10 things in no particular order!

1. The roadway system
                -How did this even come about? Ever single time I drive(and since I spend pretty     much most of my life at this point in the car, thats a lot) I think "how did someone think of this? Roads end, begin, merge into other roads, the clover leafs, the exit ramps, entrance lamp, the all the way across the country roads etc. Just fantabulous, baffles my mind. That and stop lights and how they are always in sync and not causing crashes. Just awesome. Shout out my frand Sean who is now in graduate school studying this very thing that perplexes me.

2. Why the ocean is blue
                -I know that I could probably google this, but I would rather leave it mulling around in my head. Water is clear in its best form, so why it appears blue is just so cool. And why some oceans are bluer than others. Again, fantabulous.

3. Math
                -Well, math perplexes me in a way that is more academic. I just don't understand it and I don't have the patience for it. But what perplexes me in a non-academic way about it is that it is the same all around the world. No matter where you go, it will always be the same. 2+2 will always equal 5!

4. Airplane traffic
                -The airplane's themselves don't perplex me, they just are cool. The actual airplane air traffic is so cool! So many planes in the air at one time and they are arriving at destinations on time(most of the time) and intact(lets hope most of the time).

5. Whales
                -Are really big. Nough said.

6. Addresses
                -How are there no duplicates? Who decides what your address is if you build a house? So many questions, not enough answers. I wonder who has the address number 1. There has to be one somewhere in the country or world.

7. License plates
                 -So much information in those little tiny plates

8. My brain
                 -Brains in general don't perplex me. They mostly just gross me out while occasionally amazing in between. My own brain is what perplexes me. Sometimes I wonder how I came up with some of the things I say and some of the things I think. If you know me, you know what I mean. If you don't, I think you can guess just from being a reader. One moment I can be really smart and the next... squirrel!

9. Tootsie Rolls
                 -How can a candy that looks like a turd and isn't really chocolate be so good?! And how do they get it inside the suckers? And duh, how many licks does it take to get to the middle...

10. Finger Nails
                 -Where do they come from? Why do they keep growing? So weird, kind of like hair...But I guess that is for another day.

Until next time folks!

My sister and I

So there is this woman, her name is Sara and she is my 24 year old sister. I don't know what it is, but we have one of the weirdest relationships on the planet. One minute we could be at each others throat about to kill and the next we could be on our asses laughing so hard that in the next minute we are fighting for the bathroom. We haven't always liked each other. There was a moment, when I was born, when she thought I was really cute. Then I began to grow up and become cuter than her(duh) and then came the big whammy in our relationship. I learned to speak. And that is when it all went post baby down hill. I was sassy, I still am sassy but can control it(somewhat)(who am I kidding, I have no filter). We would fight constantly. I actually threw a rollerblade at her head once. She will say I hit her because she is dramatic, in reality I missed her. But all of my teasing was not completely unwarranted. She was once throwing one of those polls with the orange flags on top that you see on soccer fields corners into the air. And she, like the gem that she is, actually didn't catch it and it hit her in the eye and gave her the most wicked black eye since I broke my nose. Of course I was jealous, so that just made the teasing worse. But that is how our relationship was until about her senior year in high school when she finally realized that I was pretty cool and I realized that she wasn't a raging biatch. We realized that we were never going to live together like we used to, being able to speak when we woke up in the morning in our adjoining bathroom. She could no longer yell at me for being in her room and stealing her clothes(we learned that it only got worse because now she wasn't home to defend her territory). Either way, we got a lot closer and it was pretty nice. Now, instead of epic fights between us, epic things started happening to us. It was like once we stopped trying to find things to fight about and in turn found things to laugh at. It is all about the little things with us.

This is when our relationship got good. Especially in the last few years. It seems like every funny stupid thing that could happen to people in front of us did. There was the man who was crossing the busy street at the really busy intersection who actually danced across the street, and not in a good way, but an extremely funny hilarious way. There was the man on the small bike with very tall handles who tried to make the light on Grand and didn't seem to know where the increase resistance thing on his handle was. I don't know if he made it because I was too busy laughing my butt off with her. Then there was the grand finale, we were walking down grand ave one day, with our bear of cuteness Otis and we passed a store that was under construction. There was a guy outside of the open window on a ladder who was talking to the guy inside. The guy inside the store who apparently did that thing where you step on a rake and it comes and hits you in the forehead except it hit the guy on the ladder. And he was not expecting it. And Sara and I, unclassy as ever, laughed out loud right in front of him and kept walking. What were we going to do? Stop and make sure he was okay? He was laugh crying, he was fine haha. But those are the types of little things that happen to us. Some things we can see from far away and not be speaking but both start laughing and be laughing at the same thing. It's one of those sister telepathy things that happens to us and I love it.

I love our relationship now. We get dinner, or she makes dinner and we grade papers together, or we try to work out together. We run 5k's on a whim without training for them. We buy colorful lawn furniture and we cuddle now, which is a big thing for us because she never even used to let me near the bed she in. It is great and I love it. And I sure hope it stays that way. Love your siblings people and remember that its the little things that make life great.

Thanksgiving

I feel like when I talk about Thanksgiving, I should be like that guy from the video "Leave Brittney Alone". Its like "Leavveee Thaankksssivvinggg Alooonnneeeeeeeee". It isn't Thanksgivings fault that all it has to offer is an excuse to over indulge. It isn't its fault that a jolly fat man isn't advertising for it. Its trying its hardest!! So just leave Thanksgiving alone!!! Some people think that Thanksgiving is inhumane because we kill turkeys. Well guess what?! 1. Those turkey's were going to die anyway, either being hit by a car or trying to fly and 2. no one patronizes Christmas for their hams. Those pigs are real people too! So now I am going to take you through what Thanksgiving means to every stage of human life.

Childhood:
Thanksgiving is just a reason to pick names for Christmas and eat an outrageous amount of pie. Lezz be real here. As a child, no one cares about the turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing and everybody knows no child is touching those green beens. It is all about the pie. The ice cream too if you're that kind of family. So basically long story short, Thanksgiving is the beginning of Christmas season.

Adolescence:
Thanksgiving is still a segway to Christmas. Except now there is that thing a teenager does where they get embarrassed by their relatives. It's still all about the pie but maybe there is some turkey on the side. This is the stage where cranberries in a can become good. Names are still drawn for Christmas and even though they don't show it, they are still really excited, they just aren't jumping up and down like  childhood. Thanksgiving is also a reason for a break from school

College:
Thanksgiving gives the college student an excuse to go home. For the too far homers, its a chance to find out who your real friends are or to spend a holiday with far away relatives. For the freshman, its the much needed respite from the real world that wasn't what they thought it was going to be. For the sophomores, its more about just the break and hanging out with families. For the juniors, maybe its the new boyfriend coming home or a chance to hang out with old high school friends. For seniors, its the last of everything in college. Mostly, for all ages, its just an excuse to go home to a place they would never admit they missed in the first place.

Adulthood:
Thanksgiving now becomes a time where you actually have to cook. Then its just stress and too many relatives and maybe a few more glasses of wine than used to at the time. Little more down the gullet than in the dishes of actual food. It's possibly dried out turkeys, slimy green beans, and collapsed pies. Mostly is needless worry and if you are anything like my family, there is usually more than one cook in the kitchen to make sure everything goes smoothly. Thanksgiving no longer is a segway to Christmas. It is a segway to having to spend more money, cook a different kind of meat and climb up on dangerous ladders to put up strings of lights. Now of course it isn't all as depressing as that sounds. Like I've said earlier, I'm not really an adult yet, I just like to think I am, so I don't really know what I'm talking about.

I wont even go into when someone reaches "old age". Because 1. I have no idea and 2. what even is old age? It seems like people just skip over Thanksgiving these days. I was in like waiting for the Cities Sampler the other day and this woman was talking on the phone next to me(who she was talking to at 5 in the morning I have no idea) and was saying she already had all of her christmas shopping done. Really? And now all the stores are open at midnight on Thanksgiving, some even 10pm. Its easy to get caught up in the grandeur of Christmas. That is the beauty of Thanksgiving. There are no gifts, no lights, no big flashy displays, just a meal, some relatives and lots and lots of whipped cream. So I'm going to keep enjoying Thanksgiving and am not going to think about Christmas until after it occurs. It's an order. No matter how crazy I am, I still like the order the holidays go in. So give thanks, eat pie, and maybe try to eat some green beans(to offset the pie of course).

Caffeine

Since it is morning, I thought I would do a little segment on caffeine. Coffee has to be one the biggest industries. I don't know exact numbers, but it seems like everyone in the planet drinks the stuff. Even tea counts. In my opinion, tea is kind of a half-assed way to get a caffeine buzz. It's for the people who don't have the grit to drink the real stuff, coffee. But anyway, still counts I guess. For some people, coffee is just part of the routine. They would be awake whether or not they had any caffeine at all. It's the cup in their hand that gets them going. For others, they are the living dead, or just dead, until they get a cup of coffee. For others it's more a social thing to do to get their coffee in the morning. Whatever category people fit into, it's a prevalent part of pretty much anyone's life at pretty much any point in the day. For me, after I grudgingly roll, or fall on some mornings, out of bed, (in the 9's these days be proud), I usually have a cup of coffee. When I was in school, it was a pretty necessary part of my day, since college usually only a lots a student about 5 hours of sleep and anyone who knows me knows I don't function and am not pleasant on anything under 8. Now I only work in the evenings, so that leaves my day to cleaning, errands, homework for only one class, which is a lot more than most would think, thank god I'm only taking one right now. Anyway, coffee for me is just a routine right now. But then there is what coffee does to people. For me, it changes, depending on what I need it to do for me. For others, it can either calm someone to a level they need to get stuff done, pick them up to the point of a crazy person hopped up on extreme energy, can give headaches to those who don't regularly drink it, or it can have no effect. I used to be in the category of no effect. Until about two months ago.

If I have more than one cup of coffee in the morning, I become the Dubstep version of myself. I kid you not, do not get in my way. I will bulldoze you if you aren't going fast enough. My laugh changes into this demonic crazy version that my kids squirm away from. I get these hand motions when I talk that look like my mother on crack. I mean watch out. Cause limbs be flying everywhere. My movements become all spazzy and weird and like I am in a Lady Gaga video that skips. It just isn't a pretty sight sometimes, but if I need two cups of coffee, it usually helps me accomplish whatever it is that needed to be done. I feel like I would make a good assistant to some high powered CEO who is always needing things. But only that version of myself, the other version of myself would probably tell said CEO to F off and get his/her own cup of coffee.

But I think of what caffeine does to me because I like watching what it does to other people. In my friend Meghan's case, she gets kind of hyper and thinks she feels really weird. See her twitter page for that reference. ;) For my friend Addison, its like a part of her. If she doesn't get her coffee and scone in the morning, her whole day would be thrown off. For my sister, if she isn't too lazy, instant coffee does the job. But this is mostly because she is too lazy to actually make a pot of coffee. See a theme with her?

Caffeine is such a funny thing. It's a drug, but an acceptable drug by society standards. There are so many kinds of energy drinks out there these days that it's amazing people still get affected by caffeine. Then there is the issue of caffeine and alcohol. Whoever came up with those 4Loko things was either a genius or a mad man. Since they were banned, I'm guessing mad man. I've never had one, but I hear it's crazy. Like people need more things to make them act weird or do stupid stuff when they are under the influence. Especially in MKE. I mean come on. But whatever. They sold, and probably would have continued to sell. Caffeine will always be an industry, and a lucrative one, as long as we the people are around. So next time you have that cup of coffee or steep that bag of tea, or if it's your style, grab for that Red Bull or Monster, really feel what it does to you. It may surprise you how crazy you really become.

The Radio Game

Music is such a funny thing. Who woke up one day and decided that it would be a good idea bang some keys and make notes. Then there are the ones who woke and decided to sing to said keys, strings and bangs on drums. Who ever did was a true genius. Some people would say that music these days has become auto-tuned BS with the "artists" not really being talented at all. I discovered music in the 90's where boy bands in baggy pants and hip hop first made their mark on the industry. I became a teenager in the double zero's where said boy bands faded from sight and hip hop was transformed into rap. Then I became an adult and realized that music can make an impact. Music can make a dreary day turn sunny, can inspire an entire population to be better, can help people get through hard times, and make happy times even better. Music is universal and is something I believe that brings us together as people. Yes, there is a strong argument that backs up the idea of auto-tuned BS, but that auto-tuned BS is still there and obviously those people are doing something right. They get heard, they sell records and they have a fan base. But all of this is beyond the point. The radio game. It is one that goes back decades to road trips in big vans with no seat belts across the country. I played it recently on one of my many hours and miles I spend in the car every day, alone. So I've learned to get creative with how I pass the time. I tried talk radio and realized that I really didn't want to listen to how crappy the world is. I can learn that from the news. I tried comedy radio. Laugh USA is too clean and Raw Dog Comedy tries to hard. Probably laughed twice. Then I tried being all alternative and Current like and got a few gems from it. But I didn't last long. I like singing along with the songs I hear. And the great thing about XM radio is that there are so many channels! They don't false advertise that. Either way, when you're in the car as much as I am, a lot of music plays over and over no matter what station. It's repetitive. The funny thing about the radio is it can give a song it's birth to the music population. It can make it popular and help an artist be discovered. Then, it drives that song into the ground and ruins it for everyone by being played on ever single station on the planet, genre out of the question. If I hear Someone Like You one more time, I'm going to cry. The radio ruined an epic song of gorgeous proportions by Adele. They played it on the local hip hop station yesterday. Really? Again, besides the point. 


I'm driving to work the other day and I am about half way 25 minutes into the 40 minute drive when I start to think. I know, it hurt. I was trying to figure out how the day was going to turn out. It was kind of cloudy, I was a little tired and I felt like my life had become a very boring predictable routine, which it has, but whatever thats life. This day had potential. I just felt like something good was going to happen. Now, this was Friday. I was going to the U to hang with friends that night and I was sincerely hoping to just have fun. But three hours of work and driving was still standing between me and my Friday night. So I asked the radio, "How is this day going to turn out?" Big question to ask a radio. And what song comes on but LMFAO's "Sexy and I Know It". Just perfect. How did the radio know that I actually put clothes on and did my hair that day. Pure genius! So I thought, why not keep it going, ask another questions. So I thought long and hard and finally landed on the question "Did I make the right decision to come go to school at home?" A little driven into the ground since there is nothing I can do about it now and I am generally happy it. But, I asked anyway. And "Oh My God" by Kassidy come on. The main lyrics of this song are "oh my god, I know I've hit the bottom". Bleak answer to say the least. But I figure I can chalk this answer up to just my situation right now. I really need to start school so I can begin to regularly interact with people my own age and maturity level. Which I guess is kind of an oxymoron since I am 20 but on most days am lucky to reach 15 year old boy in the maturity category. So I thought, one more question. Could now go either way, one good one bad lets do this. So I settle on the question "What's the deal with my love life" Now generally I already know that the answer to this question since it doesn't exist. But I figure the question is kind of open ended, like is it going to pick up or is there someone there in the near future, stuff like that. Now, I tried in vain to avoid the country stations because generally those never turn out well for anyone. But the rules of radio game apply and one of those rules is that you have to turn the dial and let it loose. I was so happy when I didn't get a country song. I instead got "Highway to Hell" by ACDC. Great. But that's the radio game! I'm sure it's never right. Even though my first two songs were pretty accurate. Oh well, at least hell is hot ;) So next time you are driving to work, play this nifty little game and become enlightened about your life through terrible DJ's and over paid auto tuned "singers".

Oh Hey!

Well, I will not deny the fact that so far, I am a failed blogger. Here's to trying to be diligent in this haha. Soooo much to tellllllllllll. Where to start. Well, I have no idea why, when or where I got the idea that I wanted to take a Microbiology class, but that is what I did and wow, the world is a gross place. I'm growing bacteria in my pantry. Never thought I would do that. And I am learning all of these long names and official names for common things like the flu and fungus' and other gross things that I would like to pretend don't exist but now cannot deny. Totally ruined my view of the perfect world that is ours Dr. what's your face that is going from biology to start a band....... Mid-life crisis much? Uhm, my job on Summit avenue has been a major big huge failure. Just lots of odd things that combine to make a not so great thing to be doing with a lot of waiting in between. Living at home is actually kind of great. Free food, no rent, date nights with the rentals and company. I am really close with my sister, love ya bebe. Speaking of sister. We had this craaaazy idea back in the summer that we were going to run a 5k together around Halloween time! And back in August, Halloween seemed really far away, well guesss what, Halloween is here. And the race is on Saturday. Goal time: Anything that wont get me last place out of 2500 people and dogs haha. I have actually grown to quite like running. It took me awhile to "warm up" to it(hahahahahahhaaha runnning joke! boom). I really like it now. I guess like is not really the word for it since anyone who says that they "like" or "love" running is kidding themselves. I can tolerate running and have a semi enjoyable time now is the more appropriate phrase to use. So Sara and I are being super heros for the Monster Dash 5k on Saturday the 29th around Lake Harriet. And I am proud to say that I am only a little bit freaking out. I have just never done the whole "let's pay to run thing" but am proud that I am actually following through with one of the crazy ideas I had. And it's helping me get back into shape. I no longer die on the treadmill! So I will take that little win. Who knows, maybe running will become my "thing". 

Hmmm, funny things that have happened to me lately..... I tripped on my run today! On a crack in side walk. And it was one of those moments where you know that it's there, you see it, you become the crack and you prepare to smoothly venture over it with one stride. So I get to the crack that I saw 50 feet before I got to it, and I stride and I fail. It was like the minute I got to that crack it became a fault line in California after a 10 magnitude earthquake. It was not that big when I was looking at it and mentally preparing NOT to trip but instead just f-ed it up and tripped and did a little side roll onto the grassy hill next to the side-walk. But what do I do? I become all "Imma CIA agent" and do a roll back down to the side walk and gracefully get back up and keep on running. At least that's what I did in my head. In actuality, I tripped onto the hill, stopped for a minute, laugh at myself, got up, walked over the crack and then kept running, all the while still laughing and being glad that I was on a back street and not on the busy one. Would not be the first time I've eaten grass in front of a whole line of cars, but I'm glad it wasn't. The first time I ate grass in front of a line of cars was when my sister and I decided to be all athletic and jazz and decided to bike to the tennis court that was actually pretty far away. About half way there, both of my tires are flat, and I was young a dumb so I just kept going to you can guess what happened next. I tried to turn a corner on the sidewalk and it was a crowded intersection and since my tires were flat, turning was impossible. So instead of putting my foot down to get off the bike, I tried to turn and just failed miserably. Plop goes me, bike and all, into a yard. And what does Sara do? Just laughs. Of course what do I do? Wave at the people laughing at me and just lay there for a minute basking in the fact that I was still on my bike, just horizontal instead of vertical like a normal person would be on a bike. I was not injured in case you were wondering( I know you were worried). 

Well, until I get another creative boost feeling and go all indie writer in a coffee shop while waiting for my kidlet, adieu. 

Life is truely at it's finest

I don't know how it happened. I was innocently searching for a job to fill my time in between school and to of course help pay for it all. What I stumbled upon was something much greater. I just got a job with a family who lives on Summit Ave. It is by far one of the coolest houses I have ever been in. And I have some friends with some pretty awesome houses, and this one is up there on the list. The family is nice and we get along very well. I have met the boy I'll be nannying yet, but it will be kind of unavoidable when I show up on Monday morning to drop him off at school. Then we will have to meet. Can't avoid me forever! Little did I know that this job will produce more than some sort of income for me. While at a meeting to discuss salary and hours and so on, we got to talking about what I was doing with school and what my plans were for the rest of the year. It was that moment when I truely was hit by how much my life is going to change and has already changed. I started out this summer enrolled in a semester in India. I then was set on going to North Carolina. And now I am here, living at home, going to school and nannying my life away. And I have to say, I am enjoying it far more than I thought I would. I brought up the fact that I am trying to take online classes for the fall since I can't start classes on campus until the spring. I was having trouble getting started because a lot of the online classes were already filled up since I have to take them as a non degree seeking student for now. This is when the mom I am working for told me she is taking an online Microbiology class and that I should take it with her. So here I am, taking a break from reading the syllabus for the Microbiology class that starts on Monday. Now me and school have not exactly meshed well together, but I have to say that I am pretty jazzed about this. She has a lot of connections in the field of work I want to go into and is a great person to know. It will also be really helpful to have someone to work with while making this transition.

The jobs and school aren't the only things that are working out for me right now. I have to admit that I was kind of worried about living with my parents again. But so far, no problems have arisen and we are having a great time. I don't really know what I was worried about, I mean we did live together for 18 years before I went off to college. And I really like hanging out with them because I don't really know when that will all end and I will move out and go my own way. So I am trying to savor the moments I can. So naturally, with my popularity and numerous invitations to attend prestigious social gatherings, I have been busy this week. So on Thrusday, I just wanted to hang with my parents and not do anything since every night before that had been occupied. So I change into my comfy clothes and am ready for night of relaxation and parental hang out time. So I go upstairs, and they go "K goodbye, we are going to the cabin! See you Sunday, maybe Monday". Awesome. I rejected an invitation to go dancing to stay home with them and they leave me. But I like it. They aren't letting me being here again to stop them from doing what they want, which they shouldn't. It's just funnny that that happened. But I made the most of it! I went to Cub, got some good food for the weekend, rented True Grit(fell asleep halfway through...not that good...) and had a great time by myself. Had two girlfriends over last night, and it was one of the most fun nights of my summer so far. Tonight, I am going to a Lynx game with Janey. Tomorrow, dinner with girls from school. It's just nice to have people around that love me. And as many of you know, I can have fun in pretty much every situation on the planet. So it's never in short supply.

I don't have any inspirational words on wisdom, not really funny stories that you will pass on to others, and I am not going about my life doing soemthing amazing at the moment. I'm just savoring the little moments and making the most of everything. It was my last day of work with my pubertal toddler on Friday,and I'll admit that it was kind of sad. I got him to admit that he'll miss me. I don't know if I would rather him hate me, it was just weird when he would be nice to me. But that chapter is over now, a great learning experience, that's for sure, but I'm glad I'm moving onto something else now. All my friends are going on their seperate adventures at the moment, I will probably have one on every continent except Antartica by the end of this year. And I will be here, having my own adventure. And I look forward to what it will bring me. Until next time something strange or ridiculous or inspirational happens to me!

Ordinary moments turned extraordinary

What a wonderful 24 hours it has been. It is amazing that there are moments, seemingly ordinary to the naked eye, that are actually quite amazing. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that the world is kind of in a crap shoot right now. It seems as if the news is merely the bearer of bad news, never ending and only broken up with bits of not so bad news. But even with all the bad that is going on in the world right now, life for me is strangely content and unyieldingly happy. 


Yesterday was the Buffalo Wild Wings fundraiser event for Leo. And what an amazing event it turned out to be. Who knew that eating wings could be so awesome. As I have mentioned before, I love my friends. Their loyalty and willingness to do what it takes makes them friends that will be around forever. Even though this BWW's was in Eagan, my friends were there, supporting me. It means more to me than they will ever know. It seems like a simple thing, to come to a restaurant and eat, but to me it was much more than that. They didn't have to come. I didn't force them to come. They just did. Actions like that speak louder than words ever will. I can't thank them enough for that. After the event, the girl went to a friends house and watched a movie. It was just one of those nights that makes you smile when you think back on it. Just like the bonfire the night before. For a long while, it was a girls night. Just sitting outside around a fire, roasting mallows(which to Meghan's dismay were store brand and not Jet Puff "Mallows are just one area in life that you don't skimp on!") and laughing about the stupid, funny and utterly "why would I do that" moments. It was the perfect goodbye to Meghan, who leaves us for four months tomorrow. 


Then there is today. Today, in my opinion, has been one of those subtly perfect days that will stand out in the array of quite ordinary days I've had. I had no special plans today. But from the moment I woke up today, I just knew something was going to be different. My Lauren and I have started this thing that when we hang out, we go for walks around this neighborhood that we don't even live in. We just chat about life, issues I like to think I know a lot about, boys, our outfits, where we want to travel to etc. The conversation is never ending, flowing like a river on a warm summer day. Talking to her isn't like to talking to most of the people I know. She has such a passion for life that is actually quite awe-inspiring. She has this "take no crap" kind of personality that I admire with the subtle undertones of actually caring for what happens to those around her. She doesn't read US magazine. She doesn't watch pointless reality television that has drawn most of the world in. She reads books about the political system in India, about women's lack of rights in certain parts of the world. She actually cares about things that matter. It's amazing to me how caught up with the superficial people can get. I have been blessed with the "I don't care about what other people think" attitude. I admit though that I don't know as much about the world around me as I should. But talking with her inspires me to be better. If I go into a conversation with even a hint of doubt about a situation I am in, I always seem to leave confident and and inspired because of her. We walked this morning, and it was perfect. It was a nice 65 degree morning in August and we just walked. It felt good to start out the day like that. Work, as always, is nothing special. I don't have a great affect over the pubescent. He sleeps in way past anytime a human should, completely ignoring my annoying yelling of his name to get up, my incessant trudging up and down the stairs to make as much noise as possible. I swear he is the living dead when sleeping. It was a fairly ordinary day when he final rose out of his grave. Anxious to get him out of the house, we drove towards the mall, grabbing some lunch. At this point, I have had not one cup of coffee and couldn't go any longer, so I swung into the Starbuck's drive through for a nice coffee with milk. Now, the Starbuck's drive-thru is not a place where I would have expected something amazing to happen to me, but it did. As we were sitting there, waiting for my coffee, a women pulled into the space next to the drive-thru window. She had two bouquets of flowers in her hand to match her awesome flower pants and sunny disposition and was walking inside the building. I got my coffee from the very attractive barista that witnessed what happened next with a dazzling smile and quiet chuckle. The lady double back towards us and all of a sudden, she stuck one bouquet of the sweetest smelling flowers through my window and said, "These are for you. I hope you keep having a really great day." It was one of those moments that I will remember for a long time to come. She didn't ask me for money, she didn't force them upon me, she just handed them to me with a smile and left. I was in shock. I giggled with utter happiness that this had just happened to me, in a drive-thru, at a Starbucks. I yelled "I hope you have a really great day as well ma'am!" and still in shock and smiling ear to ear drove away. I can't describe the high I am still riding just from this simple encounter with the flower lady. A simple kindness so greatly appreciated by me. 


I called my mother last night and she told me that on a full plane, in the middle seat, she started to bawl her eyes out. She had an overwhelming feeling of emotion when a song came on her ipod of gratefulness for her family. And I couldn't help but just love her more than I already did. This got me thinking about my family and just how much I love them. My father, with his sometimes quiet disposition around people, but get him going and you will witness a great smile and a booming laugh followed by a cough. My sister in all her glory at the fundraiser, just laughing with kids, raising money and simply amazing me with how far she has come. Even my dog, with his calmness and unwavering belief that he doesn't weigh a hundred pounds and can therefore climb on top of you to cuddle. My mother, with her kick butt work attitude and absolutely amazing personality that will love you no matter what but isn't afraid to kick your butt in bags. Its these simple things that I love, the simple things that add up into a greater family dynamic. 


Of course I can't make it through a post with out rambling, but I hope my ramblings prove to be useful and insightful. If you get anything out of today's post, understand that you are loved. By who and how it's shown doesn't really matter unless you accept that its there first. The flower lady loved me today. She showed it with flowers and a smile. My family loves me with hugs, kisses and teasing. My friends love me with their unwavering loyalty. My dog loves me with the satisfying growl that comes from scratching his belly. Its the simple things that happen throughout life that can turn even the most ordinary moment into one that is extraordinary. 

Who really cares what day it is

Dancing. Not many things are as fun to me as dance is. Its so freeing and exciting and such a way of expression. The picture to the right is from the night I got my nickname, the dancing queen. We were on a boat on our way to Athens, Greece. I danced all night long. I got many weird looks from people sitting down, in a very un-fun fashion. I wasn't drunk, I wasn't on drugs, I was high on life! Hahahaha, doesn't get much cheesier than that phrase, "high on life". Whatever, I like my cheese. If anyone has ever seen me dance, I don't have moves. I'm a straight up white girl who has no idea most of the time what the next move will be. For those of you who don't know, I was the mascot at Marquette, as I have mentioned before. And besides the fact that I have these not so discreet things on my chest called boobs, the only way you could tell if I was mascotting was the way I danced. My parents called me the chicken. And not only was that because my mom thinks all birds are chickens, but it was because my dance moves often displayed a chicken-like quality with the flapping arms and head bobbing up and down in a very jerky motion. I'm proud of my dancing. If you see me at a party with music, I'm probably dancing. If a good song comes on in the car, I'm making do with the limited space and giving the head bob and obnoxious singing show to passing motorist, while still being safe of course. Cleaning is the most fun. Thats when things get really crazy! Thats when the duster microphones come out and the windows fly open and the vacuum turns into a dance partner while the Beatles blast out of the stereo. It's the little moments in life that are changed by a song. I love to dance. Not once will you hear me say that I'm good at it, but the great thing is that I don't really care. I'm not going to make a career out of it, unless it's in the pro mascot business. Dancing is fun. Thats all there is to it. 

I got accepted to Metropolitan State University today. And I'm excited. I got clearance to start in online classes in the Fall and I am well on my way. I had an interview with College Nannies and Tutors and was unofficially hired. All I have to do is get a family to hire me now and I'm in. It's progress. These are all reasons to do a happy jig. We all have one. Don't deny it. Think about the happiest moment in your life. What did you do? Jump up and down in a giddy girl way, do the tootsie roll, drop it like its hot? I bet you were doing some form of dance in that moment. Thats the great thing about life. No matter what, there is always something to dance about. Dancing is the new form of social networking as far as I'm concerned. The party rock anthem, dropping it like its hot, the YMCA, the electric slide, all country line dances. Dancing is a way for us to connect. The picture to the right is one of my best friends Mark and I dancing on a rooftop in Greece(Of course I'm leading, I'm a bad follower when it comes to dancing). It was one of the most fun I can remember having dancing. I have done Native American tribal dance, African dance, Grecian dance, country line dancing, club dancing etc. I've done it all. What is so great about all these dances is that they aren't just steps thrown together. They mean something to the people who do them and the people who invented them. I would like to think that one day, I'll have a dance move named after me. I'll work on it. You'll know when it comes, because everyone will be doing it. And it's going to be awesome, so prepare yourself for some jerky version of the chicken dance. It's going to be called...well I don't really know yet, but ideas are being accepted. Do a little jig today people, there isn't really any reason not to. :)

Day 31- I'll Blog About It Later

If you skinned my shoulders, face and neck, you could make a leather coat out me. I can only remember one other occasion that I have been burned so badly. Thanks to the St. Croix River, a shiny metal boat, my body hitting the water at an intense speed therefore wiping all my sunscreen off, and my awesome Irish skin, I am now the color of a tomato at peak ripeness. Good thing is though, after a few days of hurt and an entire bottle of aloe vera, hopefully it'll be an awesome, usually inexistent tan! Minimal peeling being prayed for. 


Anyhootlebootle, this weekend was very blog worthy. For all the friends who wish to be mentioned in said blog, you know what you have to do! For those who already have, aka just Janey(Meghan too, but the lack of you in my life, be as it is sad, has an impact on your blog mentions), you have done well. You will be rewarded. So my parents, awesome as they are, sent me a text on Thursday during the day saying "food in freezer, see you later". This of course was expected but still funny, especially since I "food in the freezer" means frozen micro meals. Lovessss obviously. I mean who can say no to a perfectly portioned frozen asian delight! No one, thats who! But this meant, as many of you may have figured out, that I was on my own for the weekend. And obviously that means I threw a party right???!!!!!!! No, I didn't. I instead, got home at 4 oclock and watched The Expendables, Invictus, and half a documentary about character actors before falling asleep at 9:30. Riveting I know, but in reality quite pathetic. But never fear my young padawans! I made up for it!


Janey, being the awesome fwend she is, invited me over! To move... But us, being awesome, made the best of it. Fun fact, if a curb is painted yellow, you cant park there! I must have missed that part in drivers education. But Janey, again showing why she is a GEM, informed me of this rule then pulled of a passing parallel park job while a really weird lady looked on. Got the nod of approval, THANK GAWDDDDD, cause I don't think I could of lived with myself if this woman hadn't approved. And I wasn't even driving. We were in bed by 11, so again, a riveting night of frivolity and post teenage angst. 


Again, I know your worried about my social skills at this point. This is when the whole weekend turned around, not that I'm complaining about the first part of it. So when you sleepover at the Janey's house, you can expect hot coffee and pancakes for breakfast. So this is what I got on the glorious Saturday morning, in mah pjs, just chattin it up with THEE Dawn, drinkin coffee, eating pancakes, and a piece of a little too crispy bacon, but its okay Dawn, that was Anna's fault. This is when you're supposed to sit on the couch and watch Saturday morning cartoons, but NO! Not in that house, which I'm perfectly okay with because it made me feel accomplished and blow off some steam(because the previous two days had been so stressful ;))We went to boot camp. A fitness class taught by this awesome short, and extremely in shape man. It was so fun to punch a punching bag with real boxing gloves on. Made me feel like a bad butt. Now, in preparation for the awesome bonfire with our tons of friends that we have, I went home to shower and pretty myself up! But I had five hours to do this, and as many of you know it only takes me about 3 minutes to make me into a beauty queen. So, as Janey and I decided that this bonfire should be a celebration of everyones birthday, I went to Cub to get a cake. Cakes are like 20$ at Cub. Rippp OFF! Soo I bought(I mean made ;)) a 4$ angel food cake and proceeded to make it look like a firecracker exploded on it. It was awesome. And it was good. And for all that ate some, you know you loved it. Great night, great people, great lightening. I think I made the phrase "I'll blog about it later" popular. Probably trending on Twitter. Check it out. 


Now Sunday is where life gets interesting. We, being Tori, Andrew, Phil, Dan and Janey(there, now your in it Tor) decided that a 7 hour canoe ride was just what we needed. So a couple stops, a few terrifying jumps, lots of laughs, and wayyy too much sun, we completed our journey through the wilderness of Wisconsin and Minnesota river bends. I may have felt like that piece of too crispy bacon that Dawn fed me just the morning before, but I also felt so accomplished. 17 miles of windy river canoed, by me, who has never successfully canoed before. Bucket list, you're getting a dent in you! And now we are here, at work, blogging about life and watching Easy A on Starz. Awesome, awesome, awesome. Sorry for spelling mistakes, I was too busy with cloud class in elementary class to worry about spelling! Peace and bullessings. 

Day 28- Relationships

The great thing about the journey through life is the relationships we make along the way. We can make memories and do dumb things and achieve greatness. But what makes all those things better is the people we meet along the way. There are so many relationships that can be forged. Mothers and child, fathers and mothers, friends, friends with benefits, boyfriends, girlfriends, wives, grandparents. The list could go on forever. I totally believe in the idea of everyone knowing everyone through someone. The 6 degrees of separation. 


I have a sister. Some of you may know her. She is 24 years old and is great. She teaches young people to cook. But what she doesn't know is that she has been a teacher since the day I was born. For 20 years, she has helped me become the person I am today. I learn from her mistakes, her success, her relationships, her life. She has taught me that I should tell my parents exactly what I am doing, to avoid confusion later. She has taught me that maybe is isn't such a great idea to ride my bike down the path full of tree stumps and trees(even though I do it anyway). She has taught me what it means to change. That just because you are one person in one phase of life doesn't mean that that's who you have to be forever. She has taught me patience. She has been my main teacher in self-defense. Because even though we love each other and are sisters, we can have our knock out drag out fights. I usually win of course because I am better and stronger. ;) A sister relationship is a very give and take kind of situation. She gives, I take. I give, she takes. I can't even count how many times I've shown up at her apt to find a shirt or a purse that is supposed to belong to me. But how many times have I taken something from her. Its just how we operate. And I love every second of it, because no matter what, she will be there. And if she calls, I will be there. 


Friendships are a much broader and open kind of relationships. There are the so called "best" friends. The high school friends. The college friends. The work friends. The family friends. And my personal favorite to describe, the "special" friends. Friendships can end. Friendships can alway begin. But somehow, hopefully for everyone, there is always someone there. I have a great group of friends. We can create fun in any situation, whether that be stuck in traffic, on a road trip, at someone's house, just in a field somewhere, you can bet there will be laughing and plenty of debate. I love my friends. 


I don't really know where I am going with this. I think my main point would be to look around. Think about who you would call if you were in a tight spot. Then call that person just to say hello, because you can. Tell someone you love them today, for you never know when you'll be able to again. Cherish the relationships you have, think about the ones you've lost, and be excited for those not yet formed. The beauty about relationships is that they are ever evolving, changing with the times. That is all. I don't know how else to put it. The great thing about my journey right now is that I have friends who love me and support me, and I have so many more friends to make on this new road. I'm excited for this. But I wont forget where I cam from. Thank you friends, blood related and not, for being there. I look forward to our next meeting. 

Day 23- Life at it's not so finest

It's hard to believe what our world has come to. The news has become so depressing, just reports after reports of death and terror and terrible things happening all over the world. The saying "well at least it can't get any worse" will never be true. It can always get worse and we are reminded of that every day. After the storm I experienced at my cabin, I couldn't help but feel sorry for us. But it could have been so much worse. Trees can be cut up. Boats can be flipped back over. Docks can be replaced. What can't be replaced is a human life. A little girl died in that storm. But still, without diminishing any pain felt for that family of that little girl, it could have been worse. The tornado in Joplin is an example of that. Hurricane Katrina is still an example of that. The attacks on 9-11 will always be an example of that. Life is so precious. I can't help but feel bad when I sleep in past 9. I feel as if this thing called life is just waiting to be lived, and me sleeping in is just wasting opportunities. People are dying all around the world, and I want to be able to say that I did something about it. 


I've been overwhelmed with these feelings lately that I find very hard to explain. They have been keeping me up at night and distracting me throughout the day. I can't help but feel that this is as good as its going to get. That maybe my life will somehow always be me living in my parents basement. I know that this is dramatic and very untrue. But its a feeling of disappointment. Like all the hard work I did in high school and the first two years of college are just going to go down the drain because of this ever life changing decision I've made. I keep telling you and myself that I'm okay with decision. But the more I think about it and the more I think about how different my life is going to be, the more scared and unsure I become. This isn't a good scared either. I am actually terrified of how this is going to affect my life. I know that these are probably pointless worries and that everything is going to be fine, but those feelings are there and I am finding them harder and harder to avoid. I'm motivated to not let these fears become a reality. I am determined to get my degree and make something of myself. What I want to make myself into is still unclear. I am sure that when I find it, I will love it. But I made this decision because I was unhappy with what I was doing before. I just hope that this wont have the same effect. 


Fear is a funny thing. It can consume a person to the point of insanity. It can drive a person to work harder and longer in the pursuit of making those fears go away. What will define me in this decision is how I confront my fears. I will not lie down and let them overcome me. I will fight them. I will win. But for, just feeling something is better than feeling nothing. Being afraid to fail means that I want to succeed. For now, that will have to be good enough. 

Day 21- You always want what you cant have

It's funny. When I was younger, I remember making pages long lists of things I wanted for Christmas or my birthday. Thinking about them now, I can only remember one thing I truly wanted more anything for like 3 Christmas' in a row... a life size Barbie. Of course, it was life size to me in third grade and the coolest thing ever and all my friends had one and I was the only one who didn't get one. I'm grateful that my parents didn't get one now. I would probably have some super creepy doll just chillen in a land fill somewhere after I probably would have played with it about three times. It seems like a childish thing, to want things we don't need, to yearn for things that will probably not better our life. But when I think about, I don't think we ever grow out of this. We always want something more than what we have, even if we don't think so.

I have wavy hair. I have thick hair. I have a bootylicious body. I used to want straight hair, not so think, skinnier body, not so wide feet etc. But I've come to accept and love my hair, see that my toes are perfectly in alignment to my standards, that having a butt isn't a bad thing. Its a realization that I've come to over time. And they are terms that I am still trying to accept on occasion. I love my name, my last name, my crazy but oh so normal family. I don't wish I had another life. I am quite content with mine. But there are people out there who haven't come to terms with their lives. If you don't like something and can change it, then do it. If you can't change it, then learn to love it. Learn to love what sets you apart. Once you learn to love yourself, the possibilities are endless and open. When in doubt, remember that you aren't the only human in the world, obviously. Look around a room or a coffee shop or a mall. See the people around you, and really see them. Each and every one of them probably has something about them they would like to change.

But enough of my cheesy, inspirational stuff. I have sent in my application of Metro and am waiting for them to receive all my transcripts. According to the snooty admissions "help" person, I am not going to be able to start in the fall since I missed the deadline. But I find it hard to believe that I am not going to be able to even take at least an online class. But I guess all will be sorted out in time. I am hoping to be able to travel at the end of spring into summer. It's something I have always wanted to do and I am doing it. I am still getting used to the idea of not going back to Marquette in the fall. I emailed my mascot coach the other day and told her and it made me immensely sad. I am really going to miss all the people I met down there. It is such a bummer that everything has to be based on money. But my situation is far better than others who are starving or homeless who don't even get the some of the opportunities I myself have been privileged to have. I guess it's just time to redecorate my room, maybe clean it if I feel like it ;).

I'm still enjoying my adventure, but it's something I don't think I'll ever get used to. Thank you for reading all my cheesy, sometimes dim witted and often never making sense of a blog!

Day 19- Professional Movers For Hire!

Word of the day: 
            uni-boob(noun) 1. when two boobs are forced into close vicinity with                       
                                       eachother, therefore looking to outside parties as
                                       one giant boob. 2. having one boob


Today may have been one of the most unattractive days of my life. And I've had my days, believe me, but today may have taken the cake. My beautiful, bright, awesome, athletic, gerbil of a sister decided that a 97 degree day with an outrageous humidity would be the perfect day to move into her new place. Now, I love my sister to death, but I don't think I've ever sweat that much in my entire life in such a short amount of time. I made the mistake of wearing a grey shirt, and you can imagine that this obviously didn't help me in the beauty department. Just nasty. But, Sare and I are amazing at being awesome so naturally, we made the best of it. We hauled a bed, couch, chair, table, 3 loads of clothes(this is Sara so they were twice the size of a normal person), a television, a dining set, and other miscellaneous items out of IKEA and her old apartment  into her new place. We are women! Hear us scream!(as we are falling down the stairs of course haha). 


Now of course, being me, I didn't care to think ahead. I was to meet a friend for dinner on Grand after helping Sare, and was not expecting to be as gross as I was(who knows why I thought that, it was just dim witted on my part). So I walk into a restaurant, full of people, sweating, in a gray shirt of course. One of my fondest memories. 


On to the word of the day. To add to my very unbecoming look of the day, I had a very small selection of sports bras to choose from today. Women, you know what I am talking about. When the sports bra you are wearing is just a tidge bit too small, there fore resulting in a uni-boob. So if you can imagine, I belonged on an episode of "True Life: I'm Just Gross" today. 


Anyway, it's good to know that if all else fails in life for Sare and I, we can open up our own moving company! How exciting. "Sare and Mare: Moving Extraordinaire's!" Of course, in the fine print, there would be a little clause about only moving things down stairs... 

Day 17- Stoplights

It is said that a person spends 6 months of their life at a stoplight. Stoplights are often seen as bad. Hindering our travels, slowing us down, telling us to stop when all we want to do is go. Stoplights are even thought of as bad because of their color, red. A stop sign is red. Blood is red when it comes out of the body. Warning signs are often red. All seemingly bad things in many peoples eyes. What people don't often think about though is that a stoplight is a time for us to slow down. To gather our thoughts, to look around us. They force us to. The best thing that happens when I am driving is when an impatient person pulls up behind me, tailgating me in a very unnecessary way and passes me, only to end up stopped at the same stoplight. It didn't get them anywhere any faster than me. I am not saying that I am not guilty of doing this sometimes. Everyone gets impatient, but even when someone is running late, flustered and probably driving recklessly, there will always be that stoplight to slow us down and make us wait. This may seem to be a waste of life to some people, but think about all of the other things we do that seemingly "wastes" our life away. 


Time is something we can never get back. I will never be a teenager again. I will never be in high school again. I can never go back, always moving forward, getting older, not much wiser and a whole lot sassier. It's a funny thing, time. It seems to drag on when we are bored, or doing something we don't want to do and fly right by when we are having fun. Time can never be paused on a moment. It may seem like it sometimes, that time slows down at a significant point in life, or when it seems like everything is going wrong. With all the technology around us these days, it is easy to get caught up in it all. To waste away time being more connected with technology than with ourselves. I am guilty of this. I have a Twitter and a Facebook and I'm LinkedIn and hey, I'm even blogging. But when's the last time we just unplugged from everything and went on a bike ride. Whens the last time we just sat around with friends and enjoyed each others company instead of instant messaging them on Facebook. I understand that these resources are a great way for us to keep in touch with those who are far away. But sometimes, we need to refocus on the people here with us now, before they to go their own way, sometimes forever. One of my sisters friends from high school died recently. I knew him, not well, but he used to park next to us everyday my 8th grade year. He always pulled up with a smile on his face a wave. Its people like that that make the world turn. Those who can put a smile on others faces without even trying. We are all in a hurry to get somewhere. To get to the next destination, that sometimes, we forget to enjoy our current place. 


I like where I am in life these days. I can go anywhere from here. There will come a time when I move out and live on my own. When I get married, maybe have kids of my own. My life will move at hyper speed and I'll be 40 before I even know what hit me. For now, I am going to enjoy living at home, in the warmth of my own bed, under my parents roof. The teasing and the chores are actually nice. They remind me of how I got to where I am today. They remind me that home will always be here. And for now, I am just going to be here. I'm going to ride my bike around the neighborhood, wave at my neighbors, smile and kiss my parents when I get home, pet my dog and cuddle with him while we watch movies in the worn down chair. These are moments that will eventually be gone. So now is the time to cherish them. I am coming to a stoplight. I am seeing the red as a sign of the love, warmth and passion that can come with life. I am looking around at my surroundings and enjoying the break. 


Next time you are stopped at a stoplight, look around you. Take a breath. Feel something you've never felt. Think something you wouldn't normally let cross your mind. Smile, even though nothing funny has been said. Smile because you can. Think because you someday might not be able to. Roll the windows down, feel the breeze. Life is short and sometimes over too soon. Don't think about the stoplight as a roadblock, but think of it as more of rest stop. Hug your family because you can. Love yourself because its the vessel that makes life possible. Then spread that love to those who have lost it and remind them that even with all the bad in the world, there is still good. Life is beautiful thing, why speed threw it like a yellow light. 

Day 16- A New Outlook

Okay, so I have decided to look at my adventure as a parallel to Harry Potter. Except for the fact that I have no magical powers, and a dark wizard isn't trying to kill me and I don't save an entire population from a dismal existence. But, I don't care. 


So my adventure this week was filled with some potholes. I think my "kinda bitchy" status has earned me some bad karma. First, 10 bags of my dads fish got completely ruined because the freezer went out for some reason and thawed out. Then, I broke some guys heart, trust me, it wouldn't have worked. But it was still stressful. Then, tonight, about 5 minutes from home, and boom, and idiot of a deer runs into me. It didn't cause any major damage and because of my amazing defensive driving skills, I avoided killing it and the car. But still, its a pain in the badonk. I mean yes deer, we did wreck your main habitat by not only putting roads in, but placing high speed killing machines on them as well. But we've adjusted! Come on now, why run into the only car on the road. You couldn't have waited 5 seconds to run across the road. 


But I guess thats besides the point. Animals and the universe may have it out for me, but it could always be worse. I think something finally clicked in my head. No matter how many things go wrong in my life, they could always be worse. I have a great family who loves me and supports me. I have great friends who will always be there for a laugh and a good time. I may not know which direction I am going with my life, but I know well enough to make it count. 


As one of my friends from school would call it, the new word of the day is Thinspiration. My new inspiration to continue to get in shape. I am already on this journey to get back my body, but in the middle of it, I just need some revamping. So my new thinspiration is traveling and surviving the apocalypse. Hahah. After surviving the first one in Webb Lake, WI, I want to survive the next one haha. I could do it, out runt he aliens haha. Not really of course. My main thinspiration is traveling. I love hiking and being active and its a lot more fun when I can where cute clothes haha. Lurvs and hugs to all those looking for thinspiration. Find something you look forward to and use it! 

Day 13- Application and Final Plan

Well, the application is filled out and ready to go. I figured out my expenses and am all ready to go. Lets just say this is the best decision I could have made. The only thing is that I will not be able to start until the Spring semester, but I am okay with this. I can get a full time job and make tons-o-monay to pay for this new adventure. So I am taking the fall semester off to work and attending Metropolitan State University in the spring. I am excited! If anyone has any ideas for jobs, just let meh know ;) 

Day 12- New Inspiration

So many things happened to me today that made the saying "things happen for a reason" all the more true. I have come to terms with my decision to leave school. I know it is the right thing for me and I am okay with it. Sometimes though, I like to remind myself of the advantages to me being in this situation. Free room and board, a quarter of the expenses for school, the ability to get a full time job to make more money and one that recently just came about in the last 20 minutes. TRAVELING!! Now, when I was still on the track of being at Marquette, I was supposed to be going to India in the Fall. As many of you may know, there was a terrorist attack there today in Mumbai. While watching the news coverage on this, my mom just looked at me and said, "Love you dear but I am glad you aren't going there". And I know she is right. It is a place I would like to visit one day, but I believe my dads words were, "You probably would have been in jail within the first month". This is probably true. I don't like to hold my tongue when women are so outright disrespected. But, just because I wont be studying abroad doesn't mean that I will not be traveling! I was talking to my friend Janey who will studying abroad in France in the spring. I also have 4 other friends who will be abroad during this time. So, I am going to visit!! And travel around Europe. Perfect! Done and done. 

Day 11- Don't Look At Me Like Your Momma Don't Feed You

Sara, this one's for you. :)

So, I am what some would call a nanny. I clean the house once a week(I know, for those that know me well this comes as a suprise, but what is even more scary is that I am starting to like it...) and 3 days a week, I am a "babysitter" for a 14 year old boy. Now 14 is an awkward age for anyone. I know it was for me, but I escaped unscathed, as did most of us. I am not so sure that is going to be the case for this boy. And that will have to do with me.

Like I said in a previous post, I am seen in a lot of different ways by a lot of different people. My absolute favorite way though came about yesterday while sitting outside with the 14 year old. He described me as "kind of bitchy". I had to think about this for a second. This comment could be seen to many people as mean. But the word bitchy has a little different context to me than most people. At first I was offended. Didn't this kid know that the only reason I am bitchy to him is because he doesn't listen to me and I am easily flustered with insubordination!!!!! Then I thought about it a little more. This time I took it as a complitment. He didn't say I was bitchy. He said I was KIND of bitchy. This is completely different. I just told him that I don't take crap from anyone, and many times that can come off as bitchy. Especially when pubescent(probably one of the funniest words in the english language...its pube then scent:meaning teenage...)little boys are involved. So technically, it's his own fault for making me mad. 

Anyway, there is a reason this whole conversation came about. Last Friday, there was something that can be seen as some what of an altercation that occured between me and the pubertal toddler. Bikeriding was on the agenda for Friday. I hauled my bike over in my not big enough for a bike car and was really excited. The thing about the adolescent is that he really likes video games. This is not an issue, but it becomes one when he spends all day inside. It's 80 degrees outside and sunny, how can someone spend all day inside when thats what its like outside. I dont know. Paradox of the day. So after Ellen, I said lets go for a bike ride!!! In my sorority girly voice of course, just to annoy him ;) He then began to make every excuse in the book, we've all done it. So I went outside, un packed my bike and began impatiently riding around their driveway yelling his name and telling him to get his lazy butt outside and onto his bike. He then came outside and told me that his mom wanted to talk to me. Great. He called his mom to get out of going for a bike ride AROUND THE BLOCK!!! She said that he said that he didn't have his helmet(which was probably in the basement) so he didn't have to go. I had the sudden urge to yell "DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE YOUR MOMMA DONT FEED YOU!"(but didn't of course cause that doesn't really fit in to the point Im trying to make)Then, all of the underworld was unleashed from my above average looking mouth. 

If you know me, then you probably know that I have a very short fuse. If I were a firecracker, I would malfunction all the time because I wouldn't have enough time between the fuse being lighted and the lighter running away. Peeps be gettin blown up fast. Anyway, I preceeded to ask him what was so wrong with walking to the library or at least sitting outside. His answer was "I don't want to". Well guess what?? I don't care. I preceeded to tell him that I was not going to let him waste his summer sitting around all day creating fantasy worlds when there was an already real world here just waiting to be explored. This is when I decided that if he wasn't going to go outside, then I was going to make him do things inside. I made a list of things that needed to be done inside of the house and gave him his choice of what he wanted to do. How can that be bitchy, I gave him a choice...duh that was nice. Anyhoo, he didn't like that very much. His response was no. And of course I let that fly and let him play video games...NOT. I then forced him to do this little cabinet thingy that his mom wanted done weeks ago. He then asked why, and do I have to, and what gives you the right to do this to me(my personal favorite of course. My age and general awesomeness in the world gives me the right buckow. And because I was hired to be in charge of course). He did it, not without complaints. Then, this is when things get really interesting. I know, this is already like a Die Hard movie, how can it get any better?? Oh it does, just you wait. 

As I was sitting on the couch waiting for him to be done, he came over and sat down and preceeded to question me on my authority over him. And I gave him the same answers such as your mom pays me to do this, you could just do something nice for your family once in a while, Im not going to let you waste your summer on the computer blah blah blah. I admit, my voice may have been a bit raised, but I was not yelling by any means. So he calls his mom and tells her that "whats her face" is making me clean and wont let me pet the cat". She says, "just go for a walk". I hear this and jump at the opportunity to make him go outside. This time mothers orders, not mine. So we get our shoes on and are walking down the stairs to the street when he runs back inside and yells "you go for a walk!" Oooooooooooooooo, burn... Little did he know that I am by no means dumb and grabbed a key. But I figured this would be a perfect opportunity to call his mother and tell her what a little you know what her son is being. OH! I almost forgot, he recorded my so called "insults" during my slightly raised voice telling him to clean. I said it was his summer not mine, the more he complains the more he can clean. He then preceeded to tell me that it was my last day and the he was going to get me fired... Nice try. 

Needless to say, she sent me home for the day, which was fine with me, she paid me for the day and it was nice out. Mom and I had a grand old time. When I went inside to get my things, I said "bye buddy, see ya next week!!" And he like the really super smart person that he thinks he is said "Not likely."

I am proud to say that I did not get fired. I was there bright and early Monday morning with a smile and a bright hello(much to his dismay). But even after all that, he only called me "kind of bitchy". I would call that a win for everyone. Thanks for reading everyone, I hope you got a few chuckles out of my story and I hope you continue to follow the aimless yet sometime hilarious life of me, marebear. Until next time!

PS... After he called me "kind of bitchy" he continued on by saying the world would be a lot better if he just ruled it all. HA! Yeah right, if that happens, well, lets just hope we never find out...

Day 8- Blah Blah Blah

Blah blah blah reminds me of that Ke$ha song... Not a good thing haha. The blah blah blah today is for the people who keep trying to change my mind. I am many things. I am smart but sometimes spacey. I am funny but sometimes try too hard. I am all of the above and sometimes most of the below. I don't know if any of that makes sense, but what I am trying to say is that I am a lot of one thing and sometimes just as much of the completely polar opposite. It's what makes me me. I keep people on their toes ;) For me, it's just a way to keep life exciting. Its already so short in the first place, why make it boring right? Anyway, in typical me fashion, I have gone on a rant. What I am trying to say is that I can often make spur of the moment decisions. That what Marquette, India, UNC and Century all were. They were decisions that weren't well thought out and thoroughly researched. This time I am determined to do it right. I am determined to make the choice that will best suit me and my needs right now. I have a plan. I am not going back to Marquette. That was a hard enough decision to make on its own. There are a lot of things I am going to miss. I have a great group of friends there. Friends that I know I will be friends with for a long time. But I am sad to not have the two years I would have had to develop those friendships even further. But they are my friends and they understand. Then there was being the mascot. I never quite got the thrill from playing sports in high school that I get from being in front of thousands and thousands of people making a complete fool of myself and dancing and giving things away and making children laugh and sometimes cry. I was a part of the elite group of people who can say they were a D1 mascot. No, I didn't get any scholarship for doing it. To me it was just another job. I got paid $15 dollars a game. Most would say that is not enough, but what I got from those games was so much more than the money. The things I got to experience from being a part of that was more than I could have ever hoped for. Being a girl made it all the more special. 


I've always prided myself on the things I have accomplished as a female in the world. I am not a feminist in many ways, but I believe that women still aren't equal in many ways in the world. What got me thinking of this was my mom. My mom and I were talking about kids the other day for some reason and my mom told me about the time when she asked my dad if he was sad that he never got a boy. And he said no, because my sister and I can do and have done things that boys could do just as well. Just this past 4th of July weekend, we had no problems picking up halves of trees and dragging them across lengths of the beach. We can hold our own in sports and have always prided ourselves on getting along with most people but not taking crap from those we don't care for. It's a simple things when put into words, but it makes me feel good to know that I can hold my own. 


Thinking about myself as a female in a male world got me thinking of another group that I am proud to a part of but also cause me more headaches than I would like to admit. I have a great solid group of friends from high school that I wouldn't trade for the world. They have been my rock and there for me when I have needed them most. It is an ever expanding group, always changing in size with new people flowing in and people always going on their own adventures. No one ever fails to come back though. But what a very dear friend of mine pointed out to me the other day was that this is a highly over achieved group of people. This is not a bad thing in the least, it makes us all better when surrounded by each other. But what I have grown to notice is that sometimes, competition turns into badgering and downing those around us. Being in the situation that I am in now has made me come to think about this all the more lately. It was at a recent funeral of a friend that something about others from our class was brought up by one of my friends. That she felt really good about herself being surrounded by those who had either dropped out of school or never gone while she was getting a degree and getting along great with world. At the time this was mentioned I just went along with it and didn't think anything else of it. What I think about now is what gives her the right to say that people are failures based on what school or how long they went for? Success and failure in this world should not be based on what school someone went to. And this isn't the first time a comment like this has been made. I have some friends at very esteemed universities. And they got there with hard work and brains. To make this clear, I am not downing my group of friends. They all work hard to make it in the world and deserve everything they get in this world. I love them all and wouldn't change them for the world. I am just merely reflecting on the fact that sometimes they down others and it doesn't feel good. I've been a part of it for sure. But what I've come to realize is that being in this position is hard. I have been a part of a high achieving group for a large part of my life, and I have had preconceived notions about the route I am on now. I guess this is coming from a fear that me taking this route will somehow change my relationship with my friends. That they will look down upon me in some way for taking this route. And that scares me. They are who I have trusted and been with for a long time. I know it's probably an empty fear, but a fear none the less. 


Change is always scary. How we handle change is what will truly define who a person becomes. I am ready for that change. I have made up my mind. I am going on this adventure. In the process, I will change. I just hope the people around me can accept and love that change. I know I will. 

Day 7- Just Another Bump in the Road

Well, what I say about plans is only becoming more solidified as I go along here. Today, I went to my first Twins game, and of course, they lost it in the last inning. But that seems to be the trend for the day anyway, so I wasn't bothered. I had a plan today, and of course, nothing went according to it. As I was at home, excitedly(is that even word, whatever, I just made it one) halfway through my Century application and I find that they do not offer Bachelors degrees in not only Criminal Justice, but ANYTHING! SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!! Well, I, being awesome, was ready to concede to this idea that I was not going anywhere in the world and automatically assumed the worst of the situation. But I leveled out and looked did an online search to community colleges in the Twin Cities area. Within literally not even a minute, I had a call from Argosy University in the Twin Cities(actually Eagan but of course their website would never actually say that) from a lady who had the script memorized. I literally couldn't contain myself from laughing on the phone. This was all while I was chatting online with the dimwitted people from Chegg who charged me 84 dollars for a book I returned two months ago. But I got a refund so never fear faithful followers and randoms who stumbled upon this piece of artwork and are still reading :)


Anyhoooo, I am now looking at Metropolitan in St. Paul. So thats what happened today. Just another fork in the already winding and many street road.