Thanksgiving

I feel like when I talk about Thanksgiving, I should be like that guy from the video "Leave Brittney Alone". Its like "Leavveee Thaankksssivvinggg Alooonnneeeeeeeee". It isn't Thanksgivings fault that all it has to offer is an excuse to over indulge. It isn't its fault that a jolly fat man isn't advertising for it. Its trying its hardest!! So just leave Thanksgiving alone!!! Some people think that Thanksgiving is inhumane because we kill turkeys. Well guess what?! 1. Those turkey's were going to die anyway, either being hit by a car or trying to fly and 2. no one patronizes Christmas for their hams. Those pigs are real people too! So now I am going to take you through what Thanksgiving means to every stage of human life.

Childhood:
Thanksgiving is just a reason to pick names for Christmas and eat an outrageous amount of pie. Lezz be real here. As a child, no one cares about the turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing and everybody knows no child is touching those green beens. It is all about the pie. The ice cream too if you're that kind of family. So basically long story short, Thanksgiving is the beginning of Christmas season.

Adolescence:
Thanksgiving is still a segway to Christmas. Except now there is that thing a teenager does where they get embarrassed by their relatives. It's still all about the pie but maybe there is some turkey on the side. This is the stage where cranberries in a can become good. Names are still drawn for Christmas and even though they don't show it, they are still really excited, they just aren't jumping up and down like  childhood. Thanksgiving is also a reason for a break from school

College:
Thanksgiving gives the college student an excuse to go home. For the too far homers, its a chance to find out who your real friends are or to spend a holiday with far away relatives. For the freshman, its the much needed respite from the real world that wasn't what they thought it was going to be. For the sophomores, its more about just the break and hanging out with families. For the juniors, maybe its the new boyfriend coming home or a chance to hang out with old high school friends. For seniors, its the last of everything in college. Mostly, for all ages, its just an excuse to go home to a place they would never admit they missed in the first place.

Adulthood:
Thanksgiving now becomes a time where you actually have to cook. Then its just stress and too many relatives and maybe a few more glasses of wine than used to at the time. Little more down the gullet than in the dishes of actual food. It's possibly dried out turkeys, slimy green beans, and collapsed pies. Mostly is needless worry and if you are anything like my family, there is usually more than one cook in the kitchen to make sure everything goes smoothly. Thanksgiving no longer is a segway to Christmas. It is a segway to having to spend more money, cook a different kind of meat and climb up on dangerous ladders to put up strings of lights. Now of course it isn't all as depressing as that sounds. Like I've said earlier, I'm not really an adult yet, I just like to think I am, so I don't really know what I'm talking about.

I wont even go into when someone reaches "old age". Because 1. I have no idea and 2. what even is old age? It seems like people just skip over Thanksgiving these days. I was in like waiting for the Cities Sampler the other day and this woman was talking on the phone next to me(who she was talking to at 5 in the morning I have no idea) and was saying she already had all of her christmas shopping done. Really? And now all the stores are open at midnight on Thanksgiving, some even 10pm. Its easy to get caught up in the grandeur of Christmas. That is the beauty of Thanksgiving. There are no gifts, no lights, no big flashy displays, just a meal, some relatives and lots and lots of whipped cream. So I'm going to keep enjoying Thanksgiving and am not going to think about Christmas until after it occurs. It's an order. No matter how crazy I am, I still like the order the holidays go in. So give thanks, eat pie, and maybe try to eat some green beans(to offset the pie of course).

Caffeine

Since it is morning, I thought I would do a little segment on caffeine. Coffee has to be one the biggest industries. I don't know exact numbers, but it seems like everyone in the planet drinks the stuff. Even tea counts. In my opinion, tea is kind of a half-assed way to get a caffeine buzz. It's for the people who don't have the grit to drink the real stuff, coffee. But anyway, still counts I guess. For some people, coffee is just part of the routine. They would be awake whether or not they had any caffeine at all. It's the cup in their hand that gets them going. For others, they are the living dead, or just dead, until they get a cup of coffee. For others it's more a social thing to do to get their coffee in the morning. Whatever category people fit into, it's a prevalent part of pretty much anyone's life at pretty much any point in the day. For me, after I grudgingly roll, or fall on some mornings, out of bed, (in the 9's these days be proud), I usually have a cup of coffee. When I was in school, it was a pretty necessary part of my day, since college usually only a lots a student about 5 hours of sleep and anyone who knows me knows I don't function and am not pleasant on anything under 8. Now I only work in the evenings, so that leaves my day to cleaning, errands, homework for only one class, which is a lot more than most would think, thank god I'm only taking one right now. Anyway, coffee for me is just a routine right now. But then there is what coffee does to people. For me, it changes, depending on what I need it to do for me. For others, it can either calm someone to a level they need to get stuff done, pick them up to the point of a crazy person hopped up on extreme energy, can give headaches to those who don't regularly drink it, or it can have no effect. I used to be in the category of no effect. Until about two months ago.

If I have more than one cup of coffee in the morning, I become the Dubstep version of myself. I kid you not, do not get in my way. I will bulldoze you if you aren't going fast enough. My laugh changes into this demonic crazy version that my kids squirm away from. I get these hand motions when I talk that look like my mother on crack. I mean watch out. Cause limbs be flying everywhere. My movements become all spazzy and weird and like I am in a Lady Gaga video that skips. It just isn't a pretty sight sometimes, but if I need two cups of coffee, it usually helps me accomplish whatever it is that needed to be done. I feel like I would make a good assistant to some high powered CEO who is always needing things. But only that version of myself, the other version of myself would probably tell said CEO to F off and get his/her own cup of coffee.

But I think of what caffeine does to me because I like watching what it does to other people. In my friend Meghan's case, she gets kind of hyper and thinks she feels really weird. See her twitter page for that reference. ;) For my friend Addison, its like a part of her. If she doesn't get her coffee and scone in the morning, her whole day would be thrown off. For my sister, if she isn't too lazy, instant coffee does the job. But this is mostly because she is too lazy to actually make a pot of coffee. See a theme with her?

Caffeine is such a funny thing. It's a drug, but an acceptable drug by society standards. There are so many kinds of energy drinks out there these days that it's amazing people still get affected by caffeine. Then there is the issue of caffeine and alcohol. Whoever came up with those 4Loko things was either a genius or a mad man. Since they were banned, I'm guessing mad man. I've never had one, but I hear it's crazy. Like people need more things to make them act weird or do stupid stuff when they are under the influence. Especially in MKE. I mean come on. But whatever. They sold, and probably would have continued to sell. Caffeine will always be an industry, and a lucrative one, as long as we the people are around. So next time you have that cup of coffee or steep that bag of tea, or if it's your style, grab for that Red Bull or Monster, really feel what it does to you. It may surprise you how crazy you really become.

The Radio Game

Music is such a funny thing. Who woke up one day and decided that it would be a good idea bang some keys and make notes. Then there are the ones who woke and decided to sing to said keys, strings and bangs on drums. Who ever did was a true genius. Some people would say that music these days has become auto-tuned BS with the "artists" not really being talented at all. I discovered music in the 90's where boy bands in baggy pants and hip hop first made their mark on the industry. I became a teenager in the double zero's where said boy bands faded from sight and hip hop was transformed into rap. Then I became an adult and realized that music can make an impact. Music can make a dreary day turn sunny, can inspire an entire population to be better, can help people get through hard times, and make happy times even better. Music is universal and is something I believe that brings us together as people. Yes, there is a strong argument that backs up the idea of auto-tuned BS, but that auto-tuned BS is still there and obviously those people are doing something right. They get heard, they sell records and they have a fan base. But all of this is beyond the point. The radio game. It is one that goes back decades to road trips in big vans with no seat belts across the country. I played it recently on one of my many hours and miles I spend in the car every day, alone. So I've learned to get creative with how I pass the time. I tried talk radio and realized that I really didn't want to listen to how crappy the world is. I can learn that from the news. I tried comedy radio. Laugh USA is too clean and Raw Dog Comedy tries to hard. Probably laughed twice. Then I tried being all alternative and Current like and got a few gems from it. But I didn't last long. I like singing along with the songs I hear. And the great thing about XM radio is that there are so many channels! They don't false advertise that. Either way, when you're in the car as much as I am, a lot of music plays over and over no matter what station. It's repetitive. The funny thing about the radio is it can give a song it's birth to the music population. It can make it popular and help an artist be discovered. Then, it drives that song into the ground and ruins it for everyone by being played on ever single station on the planet, genre out of the question. If I hear Someone Like You one more time, I'm going to cry. The radio ruined an epic song of gorgeous proportions by Adele. They played it on the local hip hop station yesterday. Really? Again, besides the point. 


I'm driving to work the other day and I am about half way 25 minutes into the 40 minute drive when I start to think. I know, it hurt. I was trying to figure out how the day was going to turn out. It was kind of cloudy, I was a little tired and I felt like my life had become a very boring predictable routine, which it has, but whatever thats life. This day had potential. I just felt like something good was going to happen. Now, this was Friday. I was going to the U to hang with friends that night and I was sincerely hoping to just have fun. But three hours of work and driving was still standing between me and my Friday night. So I asked the radio, "How is this day going to turn out?" Big question to ask a radio. And what song comes on but LMFAO's "Sexy and I Know It". Just perfect. How did the radio know that I actually put clothes on and did my hair that day. Pure genius! So I thought, why not keep it going, ask another questions. So I thought long and hard and finally landed on the question "Did I make the right decision to come go to school at home?" A little driven into the ground since there is nothing I can do about it now and I am generally happy it. But, I asked anyway. And "Oh My God" by Kassidy come on. The main lyrics of this song are "oh my god, I know I've hit the bottom". Bleak answer to say the least. But I figure I can chalk this answer up to just my situation right now. I really need to start school so I can begin to regularly interact with people my own age and maturity level. Which I guess is kind of an oxymoron since I am 20 but on most days am lucky to reach 15 year old boy in the maturity category. So I thought, one more question. Could now go either way, one good one bad lets do this. So I settle on the question "What's the deal with my love life" Now generally I already know that the answer to this question since it doesn't exist. But I figure the question is kind of open ended, like is it going to pick up or is there someone there in the near future, stuff like that. Now, I tried in vain to avoid the country stations because generally those never turn out well for anyone. But the rules of radio game apply and one of those rules is that you have to turn the dial and let it loose. I was so happy when I didn't get a country song. I instead got "Highway to Hell" by ACDC. Great. But that's the radio game! I'm sure it's never right. Even though my first two songs were pretty accurate. Oh well, at least hell is hot ;) So next time you are driving to work, play this nifty little game and become enlightened about your life through terrible DJ's and over paid auto tuned "singers".