It's funny. When I was younger, I remember making pages long lists of things I wanted for Christmas or my birthday. Thinking about them now, I can only remember one thing I truly wanted more anything for like 3 Christmas' in a row... a life size Barbie. Of course, it was life size to me in third grade and the coolest thing ever and all my friends had one and I was the only one who didn't get one. I'm grateful that my parents didn't get one now. I would probably have some super creepy doll just chillen in a land fill somewhere after I probably would have played with it about three times. It seems like a childish thing, to want things we don't need, to yearn for things that will probably not better our life. But when I think about, I don't think we ever grow out of this. We always want something more than what we have, even if we don't think so.
I have wavy hair. I have thick hair. I have a bootylicious body. I used to want straight hair, not so think, skinnier body, not so wide feet etc. But I've come to accept and love my hair, see that my toes are perfectly in alignment to my standards, that having a butt isn't a bad thing. Its a realization that I've come to over time. And they are terms that I am still trying to accept on occasion. I love my name, my last name, my crazy but oh so normal family. I don't wish I had another life. I am quite content with mine. But there are people out there who haven't come to terms with their lives. If you don't like something and can change it, then do it. If you can't change it, then learn to love it. Learn to love what sets you apart. Once you learn to love yourself, the possibilities are endless and open. When in doubt, remember that you aren't the only human in the world, obviously. Look around a room or a coffee shop or a mall. See the people around you, and really see them. Each and every one of them probably has something about them they would like to change.
But enough of my cheesy, inspirational stuff. I have sent in my application of Metro and am waiting for them to receive all my transcripts. According to the snooty admissions "help" person, I am not going to be able to start in the fall since I missed the deadline. But I find it hard to believe that I am not going to be able to even take at least an online class. But I guess all will be sorted out in time. I am hoping to be able to travel at the end of spring into summer. It's something I have always wanted to do and I am doing it. I am still getting used to the idea of not going back to Marquette in the fall. I emailed my mascot coach the other day and told her and it made me immensely sad. I am really going to miss all the people I met down there. It is such a bummer that everything has to be based on money. But my situation is far better than others who are starving or homeless who don't even get the some of the opportunities I myself have been privileged to have. I guess it's just time to redecorate my room, maybe clean it if I feel like it ;).
I'm still enjoying my adventure, but it's something I don't think I'll ever get used to. Thank you for reading all my cheesy, sometimes dim witted and often never making sense of a blog!
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