I can make as many plans as I want, but when mother nature steps in, you know it just wasn't meant to be. As I was driving up to the cabin with my sisters boyfriend, the chatter flowed and the anticipation for the coming vacation was running high. Little did we know, the storm to be remembered was riding right along side us. After stopping in Siren for an alchi order for the rentals, we found that it did not possess a certain bottle needed for Dad. Thank a higher power for that. A bottle of Ameretto Sour, I'm convinced, saved our lives. In the next town in the parking lot of Waynes, the sky literally fell upon us with the classic shopping car wizzing by with no driver. Thats when the weekend became a true adventure. A normally two hour or less car ride with easy turns and lazy roads turned into a four hour adrenaline fest with more sheared off trees laying in the road and in the woods than I have ever seen in my entire life. I saw a bloody man out of my window as we were driving past who had been hit by a tree while on his motor cycle. I saw downed power line and people walking down the road with chain saws. When we finally arrived to the cabin, I saw the first part of the deck broken with one of the largest tree's on the property leaning up against it. That is by far the most scared I have ever been in my entire life. No power for the whole weekend, but in true Schafhauser fashion, we made it work with meals on the fire and grill, coffee from the lake and no running water. It actually ended up being one of the more memorable weekends I've ever spent up there.
This got me thinking of course. I know, my mom would ask me if it hurt. But what they don't know, is that my brain runs a hundred miles an hour 24-7. I'm usually just thinking of the most random things and too hard about life so when I forget to do something they ask of me, they make fun of me. But back to thinking(see what I mean...easily distracted). As I was surveying the damage around the lake, I was amazed at how almost all of the cabins, minus a few windows, boat and roofs, had been spared. All trees falling the right way or twisted into impossible positions so that they didn't fall on the house. Including ours, it was a miracle I wasn't cuddling with branches from a tree that very well could have fallen through the roof. It was almost enough to get me believing in a higher power.
This weekend also got me thinking about the future, which is the whole point of the blog! So let's get down to it. I have made a decision. I know, you're all dying to know what is!!!!!!!! Okay probably not, but it's a little strange for me to put it in writing, it makes it real, and I have a problem with real. I like my fantasy's. They are fun and safe and open to all possibilities. But I guess real is more fun, well because it's real. I am going to get my degree from Century College and live at home for at least the first year. Make some money and get a job, just float through, going on various adventures.
Wow, thinking, telling and making this real is kind of scary. I'm trying to come to terms with this new life of mine. And I'm not there yet. I'm not ready to believe that I'm not going back to my friends in the fall and living on my own. I'm not ready and I'll admit it. I'm doing it, but I'm sad on many levels. I like to think that I'm this carefree person who doesn't care about what people think. But in every person, there is a level of them that cares. I am no different. What I am best at is hiding my insecurities with humor. I make the joke to make people laugh so that I don't have to face reality. That seems to be the running theme here. Real. This is real. I am sure I could make a sarcastic comment or throw in a funny joke here, but in reality, I am scared to death. But I guess feeling scared is better than feeling nothing at all. It means that this next part of my life means just a little more than usual. I want this to work really bad. I want this next part of my life to really flow for me. And I'm ready. Ready to be real.
To make a funny joke though, still no official rejection letter in the mail fro UNC. They didn't even have the decency to send me a paper letter, I guess it REALLY wasn't meant to be ;) Until next time folks, just remember to smile. A smile is easier than frowning. Frowning takes more muscles. More muscles=more energy. We use enough energy, so lets conserve some :)
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