Classes

So here is another reason why Metro State is a kajillion times, oh yeah, kajillion, times better than Marquette. I am being taught by real life police men and women. Not one of my professors is not working in their field. One of my professors is actually on duty when he is teaching. Which means that he carries around his gun. "Excuse me professor I forgot my assignment." No. You can bet that no one in this class will be saying that while his gun is in his holster. Sorry but no. Now obviously he would never pull it out. That would be dumb. And a veteran of a police department would never do that. But tell me this, how many of your professors have guns and badges strapped to their hips while teaching? My guess would be zero. And do to the fact that my badass factor is running low in these early weeks of the school year, this seriously ups my cool. By association, I feel cool. And no one can blame me for that. I need all the cool I can get.

Now again, if anyone was doubting that my life is a sitcom, here is another case and point of how I should be constantly filming my life. On Sunday, the glorious day before Labor day, it was Otis' birthday. In case anyone needs a refresher or if I've never mentioned him before, he is my giant mini horse of dog. He is the biggest cuddly puddle of mush on the planet and he turned nine. And I didn't even think twice about going to the store and buying him some totally rad items to throw him a totally rad birthday party. I even came close to buying a video camera so I could get his reaction to the GIANT bone I got him. And then realized that I'm too broke, so I didn't. Sorry, no footage of this totally pathetic but hilarious party I threw. Now I remind you that my parents yet again whisked themselves away to the faraway land of Canada. So its just me and my poops. So there I sat on my Sunday evening, with my two dogs who I forced to wear party hats in my completely over the top decorated porch for my dog, who didn't even know what was going on. And it was awesome. I even got them the yummy wet food for a special dinner, set up a table low enough for all of us to eat together and proceeded to light a candle, to make it even more special. Needless to say, that was a disaster. Miko got so excited at the idea of "real" chickena and corn he plopped it off the table, smeared it all over the floor trying to get it out and then went and licked the ENTIRE floor clean. I didn't even care. Otis, being a proper old man, remained at the table with me until finished, then when my back was turned, took his cup that it was in and ran away and tried to eat it. Still a little boy in there somewhere.

And it gets better from there. Last night, I cleaned everywhere and decided that it was just too hot to sleep upstairs. So I went down to my bedroom and was doing homework on the floor. The dogs were both laying at the end of the bed cute as buttons. Needless to say, I fell asleep on the floor. And when I woke up at 4am, Otis was sprawled on my pillows and Miko was sprawled on him. It was to cute to even care that I was on the floor. So I stayed there.

Now I would have pictures and video's of all of this if I had a camera. So feel free to donate to Mary's "Gotta film mah life" fund. Its open now.

Enjoy your life. Enjoy your dogs. Enjoy your vacations. And most of all, enjoy your classes taught by gun wielding certified badasses. Cause that's what I'm doing and everybody knows that I set the standard for cool....