Have to Share

This was a letter a man's wife received that alerted her she could no longer shop at the local Target store because of her husband. Fellas, don't try this at home.   

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samsel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lost time and costing the company money. 

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway. 

6. August 14: Moved a "CAUTION_ WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area. 

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he would invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged. 

8. August 23: When a clerk asked him if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" EMTs were called. 

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels. 

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "Pick Me! Pick Me!"

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "Oh No! Its those voices again!"

and last but not least, 

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly "Hey! There's not toilet paper in here." One of the clerks passed out. 

You have to give the man credit for being so creative. Don't forget to check out Skinny Girl Thoughts brought to you by moi! Fun outdoor workouts are what's on the menu today! What are you going to do to change your life today? This man banned himself from shopping. Lets be honest, he's probably not that disappointed.